Hey peeps, Archibald aint' here at the moment. He's gone off to take care something or other.
Name's Ridley. 'Nother agent, hellz yeah. Slenders took me on board a while ago though not nearly so long as Archy's been around. Nobody been around as long as him, I guess, though we ain't really sure how long he has been around. I did know the guy before his accident and being put in stasis, so I was quite glad to hear of his return. Bitchin'.
Now I 'spose you wanna know what's been going on. My brah went off to check on those runners he's been assigned to. The one dude, what's his name Ben, apparently ran off from the hospital a few days ago, after his buddies who apparently ain't so much his buddies, 'cause they booked and left him. Archy decides to follow knife-man and finds him running aimlessly through the woods, screaming shit and hacking at the trees with a knife he picked up somewhere. Archangel was just watching him for a bit when he suddenly stops and looks right at him, gets this shit-eating grin and yells at him.
"Hey, asshole, you gonna come and get me or just stand around all day like a fuck- fucking, like fucking Slendershit, just fucking hanging around? Asshole, fucking fuck fucking you. Huh, Archangel?"
Archy was surprised that the guy knew his name, but he goes ahead and steps out of his cover and as soon as he does the cracker lunges at him. Archangel tries to dodge him and, well, fails and gets his ass tackled to the ground. Whitey raises the knife above his head, about to make a big show out of stabbing Archy's heart, but unfortunately for him, the theatrics give Archy enough time to throw the douchebag off of him. He gets up and walks over to the guy, who, by the way, is coping quite well with having a big ass Slendercross carved into his back. So anyhow, Archy grabs the knife and tries to twist it away, but Benny bites a chunk out of Archy's hand. Archy backs off, crackers uses the opportunity to implement the simply excellent strategy of Masky-tackling fucking everything once more.
Archy stabs him in the gut and he goes down, but keeps spouting cryptic voodoo-shit before Archy puts him out. Then Archy goes down. Some other freak wearing a black mask comes out of nowhere and introduces Archy's skull to some blunt object. Black mask jumps on top of Archy for a second before he manages to toss him off, but then stumbles and falls over again, like he's dazed and mumbles some random shit.
And then, DUN DUN DUN DUN, yours truly appears on the scene. Slenders had me reassigned over here and throws me across the Land of Ebony Foliage to break this shit up. Yeah dawg, cause I'm just that frosty. I connect my fist with Masky's face, but he swings at me and sends me literally flying through the air and into some bushes. Balls. He jetted off into the trees and me bein' all pissed woulda gone after him but I was there for Archy and Slenders doesn't much aprpeciate it when I disobey orders.
Archy composed hisself after a few seconds and doesn't seem to remember what just happened to him, but being himself he just gets right back down to business. Says white boy has something we need, information we needed to extract from him, but there was something blocking his mind. Of course, Archy wouldn't just let it go at that, so we drag the lump back to the house. And that wasn't all that happened then, we return to find that someone had broken in, whoever had put that post up on the blog. But there was m0000re! Upon first returning to the Batcave we discovered what's her name, that runner chick, asleep on the front porch. We relocated cream-filling to the basement and then brought little miss sunshine inside to wake her up.
She's real confused at first and soon just starts freaking when she realizes she don't know where she is. Archy questions her a bit and manages to get out that she don't know how she got there and she don't recognize him either. Good shit. Anyway, I'm keepin an eye on her while Archy's off doing whatever he does. Creampuff ain't woke up since we brought him in.
Whatever. Archy wanted me to update this thing, so here you go, I think I can get along with you people.
Anyway, stay frosty, we're always watching.